Humanist Marriage

Freddie van Mierlo Excerpts

Thursday 12th June 2025 Westminster Hall

[Freddie van Mierlo (Henley and Thame) (LD)]

It is a pleasure to serve under your chairship, Dame Siobhain. I am delighted to co-lead this debate. Many problems that face this country and indeed the world are difficult to solve, but marriage equality for humanist weddings—as the right hon. Member for Oxford East (Anneliese Dodds), my constituency neighbour, pointed out—is something we can fix simply with the stroke of a pen. I therefore urge the Government to do so.

I will reflect on my own marriage, which was a humanist marriage. I am not religious, but I was raised going to church on Sundays and I went to a Catholic school, so I am familiar with the Catholic faith and have great respect for it. When it came down to it, however, a religious marriage did not feel right for me or my wife. The words someone needs to say at a church wedding just did not ring true for me, and the last thing I wanted to do on my wedding day was to lie.

The words we say on such a day are special and should be meaningful. The alternative to a religious marriage, in a place that is wanted, is therefore to have a registry office marriage with a celebration after, but I wanted the celebration to be the marriage—to combine, as religious ceremonies do, the legal act of marriage as defined by law and the deep and meaningful declarations of love made on the day.

That is why we decided to get married in Scotland. As my name suggests, I do not have ancestral connections to Scotland, but I often wear a tartan tie in this place because I am now so fond of the country in which I got married. I am today wearing the same tie that I got married in four years ago. Our humanist celebrant, Lesley, was absolutely wonderful. She guided us through the whole thing perfectly and even offered us a bit of advice on the snow gates in Braemar in December.

Everyone in England and Wales should have the same opportunity that has existed in Scotland for 20 years. Twenty years ago, Humanist Society Scotland wrote to the Registrar General and asked them to read the law as relates to religious marriages as also providing for humanist marriages. They were persuaded that, from a human rights perspective, given freedom of religion or belief, that had to happen, so they reinterpreted the law in exactly that way. No legislation was required, and so, on 18 June 2005, Karen Watts and Martin Reijns were married by a humanist celebrant at Edinburgh zoo.

When Scotland passed the Marriage and Civil Partnership (Scotland) Act 2014, the decision was made to update marriage law to put humanist marriages on a proper statutory footing. The first two same-sex marriages in Scotland were both humanist, and humanist marriages have only continued to grow in popularity since.

It is not just Scotland that has left England behind. In 2017, Laura Lacole and Eunan O’Kane applied to the Registrar General in Northern Ireland to ask for their marriage to be a humanist one. They asked for the law to be read similarly to the way it was read in Scotland. This was declined, but a court later found in their favour. As in Scotland, humanist marriages have since exploded in popularity in Northern Ireland.

To finish my tour of the home nations, the Welsh Government have repeatedly written to the UK Government over the years asking for a humanist marriage order to be laid or, failing that, for marriage law to be devolved to Wales. I am proud that my party has been committed to that for many years, and that it was a commitment in the last Liberal Democrat manifesto. I am also proud that the Liberal Democrats were in government in Scotland when humanist marriages were introduced there. The Liberal Democrats of course have a very good record on marriage reform. We can debate the merits of the coalition—as I am sure we will again and again—but one of the standout achievements was same-sex marriage. It is worth noting that the couple who had the first same-sex marriage in England and Wales, Peter McGraith and David Cabreza, are humanists and said they would have liked a humanist wedding.

Legal recognition of humanist marriage would especially benefit and support same-sex couples. LGBTQ people are significantly more likely to identify as non-religious, and many religious groups still do not allow same-sex marriages. Humanists UK tracks whether the ceremonies its celebrants do are for opposite sex or same-sex couples; as a result, we know that every year since 2013 more same-sex couples have chosen to have a humanist wedding without legal recognition than have had a religious same- sex marriage with legal recognition. That which there is clear demand.

Labour committed to action when in opposition; now they are in power, I urge the Government to listen to this debate. I would not change my wedding for the world, and Scotland now has a very special place in my heart, but would it not be lovely if a legacy of this Government was that such special memories can be made in England and Wales too?