Humanist Marriage

Ruth Cadbury Excerpts

Thursday 12th June 2025 Westminster Hall

[Ruth Cadbury (Brentford and Isleworth) (Lab)]

Many thanks to my hon. Friend the Member for Tamworth (Sarah Edwards) and others who secured the debate.

The speakers we have heard already have spoken so powerfully about why this simple change in the law needs to happen. The hon. Member for Henley and Thame (Freddie van Mierlo) talked about what must have been a cost to friends and relatives to have to go to Scotland to have both parts of the event in one place. As the hon. Member for South Devon (Caroline Voaden) just said, the logistics of having to organise two functions are not great. She said she would have liked to have both parts—the formal legal part and the celebratory part—as one.

I must declare that I am a member of the all-party parliamentary humanist group, although I am actually a Quaker. As far as I can see—I think I am right in this—marriage in this country is, at its minimum, when completely stripped down, the public signing of a legal document between two people, with witnesses. It is just a legal document. But most of us end up adding to it the faith element, the friends and family element and the celebration.

There is an inequality in England and Wales. For many, traditionally, the faith component is important. Most weddings in this country can happen in the place of faith in one and the same event. In England and Wales, civil and religious marriages are permitted, but it is not possible to have a humanist marriage, or one conducted according to any non-religious system or belief. They have to be in two parts.

Quakers, for historical reasons, have had the right to hold formally agreed marriages anywhere, including outdoors—as can Jews—according to our rites and ceremonies, with a registered member of the congregation officiating. Actually, thanks to the wording of a Quaker wedding, the couple can in effect marry each other, because we do not officially have any people who are closer to God than anyone else; we are all equal in the sight of God. The wording is: “Friends, I take this, my friend Laura, to be my spouse, promising, through divine assistance, to be unto her a loving and faithful spouse, so long as we both on earth shall live.” [Hon. Members: “Hear, hear!”] My hon. Friend the Member for Aylesbury (Laura Kyrke-Smith) and I are both married to other people—

--- Later in debate ---

[Bambos Charalambous (Southgate and Wood Green) (Lab)]

There are lots of witnesses.

[Ruth Cadbury]

Anyway, I fully support the Humanist Society’s position to allow a couple to be married by a celebrant who shares the couple’s values and beliefs, one that works in Scotland, Northern Ireland and many other jurisdictions across the world.

I would have some concerns if the law was opened up to any non-religious belief organisations. There needs to be solemnity and dignity in the process. I would also have some concern about the potential for celebrants to sell their services as a commercial transaction, so there are some aspects of the Law Commission proposals that concern me. However, one part of the Law Commission’s recommendations that I support is for marriage to be based on the officiant rather than the building. As I have said, for Quakers, there is no such thing as a consecrated building or space in our faith, so as long as the local Quaker who is trained and formally registered is present, the marriage is legal. It can be done out of doors. I know that many humanists value nature and choose to celebrate their weddings out of doors but do not want to have a two-pronged celebration and the official bit as is currently the case. I therefore support a change in the law.